A few weeks ago on our Instagram page @christianswhocursesometimes, I posed a question: “Christian Women: What do you wish Christian men would stop saying to you?” and my inbox was instantly flooded.
Men and women have very different life experiences, and unfortunately that leads to a lot of things being said that are hurtful to the other, some intentional, many unintentional.
In order to grow as Christians, we need to set aside our pride and listen to what people who are different than us have to say, while holding onto Biblical truth. As men, we need to recognize the ways we can hurt women, and strive to be more loving and respectful.
Here is what Christian women want you to hear:
This is more for pastors and church leaders but please stop asking me to be on the hospitality or childrens ministry, asking “Do you have an interest in working with children?” is way better than “You should volunteer in our nursery?” I’m actually not good with kids so you probably don’t want me in there tbh
Telling us that we’re made to get married and have children. That is not our only value or purpose
Please don’t ask about my virginity on the first date, it’s creepy.
“How are you still single?” I know men mean well when they say this but it makes me feel more alone when they say this.
Anything that starts with “God told me…” I know God speaks to people but men use that line to get what they want so often that it loses all meaning. When we hear those words we assume its manipulative.
Dont tell me you’re a good guy, show me you’re a good guy. You know who doesn’t need to tell girls that they’re a good guy? Actual good guys.
Sometimes men do this thing where their apologies turn into pity parties. “I was wrong, I dont deserve you, why don’t you just leave me blah blah blah” as if I’m supposed to kiss their feet and make them feel better. If you apologize JUST APOLOGIZE and leave it at that.
I wish men just owned up to things instead of using God as an excuse. “God told me to break up with you, God told me to date you” etc. Just be honest with us because that doesn’t give any closure or any help.
“Not all men are like that” ARGGHHHH! If I’m telling you something negative about men it’s because I was hurt and not because I think all men are like that just listen to me and help me process
LITERALLY ANYTHING about me being responsible for mens thoughts like to cover up or not dress a certain way, didn’t Jesus say to look to the log in your own eye first, like, if I’m causing you to stumble maybe figure that our first before telling me what to do about your sin.
That the only reason I’m single is because I’m not content being single wtf
For older men: “Baby Girl” or anything weird that should only be said from a boyfriend or husband
Don’t treat my morals or boundaries any differently than yours just because your a man, just because their different doesnt mean yours wins because youre a man
I’m more bothered by condescending tones than specific phrases…
Men: Take these to heart. Listen to them and actually consider if you may have ever said these things, or would say them. If you disagree with any of these from a Biblical standpoint, I would encourage you to talk this over with a woman in your life. Share with her your concerns, but also be willing to listen.
Christians Who Curse Sometimes is a brand looking to deepen your faith in real practical ways. Personally, I am a husband, father, and meme creator. I love connecting with real people, and showing that no matter what your story is, you can have an impact and change lives.