According to a recent poll on our Instagram page, 10,000 women and 10,000 men were asked to answer the question “Do You Have A Best Friend?”

79% of women signified that they do have a best friend, while right behind only 69% of men said the same thing. (Although many of them signified that their spouse was their best friend)Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.

Making friends as an adult is incredibly difficult. Many of us have shallow or small friend groups, and desire to make those relationships deeper and more loving.

I asked those tens of thousands of Christians to describe the moment their friend became their best friend, and I can put those into a few categories:

They Showed Up When Nobody Else Would

Friends are there for you when you need them. Best friends will just show up and know what you need without needing to ask. Next time one of your friends is having a difficult time, or going through something traumatic, show up in the way they need, whether that means bringing them food to their door, or sending them a text saying that you’re praying for them

The day my dad died he showed up at my door. A lot of people said to ask if I needed anything but he just showed up to be with me and said he would leave if I wanted to be alone. I didn’t know I needed that

After a breakup that hit me hard a girl I work with took me out for lunch and I had no idea she was dumped a month earlier. She just listened and was there for me

When everyone else forgot about the anniversary of my moms death, she sent me the most heartfelt text

They Shared Things Nobody Else Knew

This is a really difficult but important step in making friendships turn into best friendships. We always want others to share their secrets with us, but think it’s awkward to be the first to open up:

She was the first person who I told about something traumatic from my past. She made it clear that she didn’t see me any differently than before she knew this about me and I cried

We weren’t that close until she heard that I was divorced and she asked why. I hadn’t told anyone the real details and she just listened and cried with me

I wasn’t good at hiding my anxiety meds and he saw them in my bathroom when I had friends over. He and I had the best convo about mental health and now we tell each other everything

They Shared A Weird Experience Together

Weird things happen all the time, but when something embarrassing, crazy, or weird happens and involves someone else, that can form an unexpected, unbreakable bond

She threw up in my lap after a roller coaster on a youth group trip. I remember being mad at her but I got over it pretty quickly and we still joke about it

We were both in the same car when it was t boned going through a light. We were both ok but that was the scariest moment of my life and only she understood

Both cheated on by the same guy at bible college. She tried to warn me but i was blinded in love. I lost him but gained her as my best friend!!

It Just Happened Over Time

Hundreds of the messages just had stories like “We were friends in preschool and just stuck together” or “We just kept hanging out, there wasn’t really a moment”.

Quality Time is a very powerful love language. In order to turn friends into best friends, sometimes it just takes time, commitment and persistence. Not doing anything? Give them a call and ask if they want to spend time together, even if its just sitting and watching a movie. Not everyone is overly talkative and wants to share their deepest secrets, sometimes the most powerful thing is to give someone the gift of company.

Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.

Romans 12:10

This verse always impacts me when I think about friendships. How often are we actually trying to outdo each other in showing honor? So many times we just default into our selfishness and want people to desire us and our friendship without trying to give energy back.

Try and outdo your friends in how they honor and love you, and you may just find friends turning into Best Friends