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Christians Share The Weirdest Things They Were Taught About Sex

April 22, 2022

Sex is one of those things that the church and Christianity have a unique relationship with. Yes, the Bible talks often about how good sex is, and how God created it to be enjoyed.

However, in more recent years, many churches, pastors, and parents have taken the message of sex and warped it into bizarre lessons, weird ways to teach teens to not have sex, and has caused a lot of damage. While many were taught in healthy ways, others…well, weren’t.

Recently, we asked over on our Instagram page for Christians to share the weirdest things they were taught about sex growing up, and here are some of the best:

Missionary style ‘man on top’ sex is the only Biblical sex

My mom turned out to be a little mentally unwell, but when we were kids one time she held up a waffle fry and told us that this was what our vaginas would look like if we let too many men have sex with us. A WAFFLE FRY.

One time an older friend of mine told me that it’s a sin to have sex in the morning, and that it’s only Biblical to have sex at night before bed. So glad my wife and I don’t listen to that one

If you don’t marry the right guy God has planned for you, he wont “fit”

I grew up in a cult and one of the older women told us when we were preteens that if we marry a man who wants oral sex, it means he’s gay. She said that vaginas are designed to be tighter and more pleasurable so men should never prefer a mouth

That sex is for mens pleasure and that it’s a wife’s job to give it to him whenever he wants

Only the guy enjoys it. Apparently my mum doesn’t so that must be what she thought

That once you get married and start having sex you’ll always cum at the same time: NOT TRUE!!

You can lose your virginity by using tampons uggggg I hate this one

I don’t know how I learned this but I was taught that the penis goes into the uterus, not the vagina. I dont know where I thought the uterus was, but I was in college when I found out that sex is in the vagina

For some reason, I was taught that penises were slimy. Was super relieved on my wedding night…

I legitimately thought that sleeping in the same bed as someone else could get you pregnant. I was so scared when I was a teenager and took a nap on the floor and woke up and saw another guy napping near me. Thats when I learned the truth and I still cringe that I thought that.

That when you hold hands your body releases pheromones that makes men want to have sex with you right away. I realize now my mom just didn’t want me holding hands with boys

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