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The Definitive Ranking of Every Throwback Sunday School Song

April 28, 2022

The hand motions, the yelling, the full on energy. Christian kids get ready to TURN UP on Sunday mornings no matter how early it is. Everyone knows some of those Sunday School songs are just flat out better than others, so here are the official rankings of every song you are proud to admit you still know all the motions to, from least exciting to most exciting.

Disclaimer: I realize the motions and verses may differ from church to church, but this is how I’ve heard many churches do these songs. Feel free to fight me on this:

12. Jesus Loves Me

A classic, but a snooze-fest. When I come to Sunday School, I’m ready to blast out all of my energy, screaming, adding some hand motions, or even something at least a little high energy. The slow, relaxed nature of this song puts it in dead last.

11. Jesus Loves The Little Children

We just rolled out of bed and walked into church, the last thing we want to do is sit still and sing a chill song. Also, the “Red and Yellow Black and White” line definitely ain’t gonna play well anymore in 2021.

10. He’s Got The Whole World In His Hands

Ok…points for some hand motions I guess? But they’re just simple and not exciting at all. Tracing out a big circle and then showing your hands? I guess there’s some fun parts in there when you can put your arms around your friends during the “He’s got everybody here in His hands” part, but that’s about it.

9. This Little Light of Mine

This song ranks just slightly ahead of the last few because it as least has some motion to it of holding your finger up like a candle, and pretending to blow it out while singing “Don’t let Satan *blow noise* it out, and “hiding it under a bushel”. Lets be real, it was an OK song, but we were really just waiting to see what the next song was.

8. I’ve Got Peace Like a River

This song ranks up a few notches because it is the definition of chill vibes in song form. Throwing out that peace sign, and then adding in the motions for all the different forms of water still flows through your soul. If there was a song that was good for getting your energy back before another high energy masterpiece, this was that song.

7. The B-I-B-L-E

This song is just a boring blatant rip-off of it’s way cooler musical cousin “I Am A C-H-R-I-S-T-I-A-N”, so it gets bonus points for kind of reminding us of a song that’s actually fun, but that’s about it.

6. Deep and Wide

There’s some redeeming qualities in the fact that when you throw your hands out wide you can hit the person next to you. Was it fun? Yes. Do I have any fun memories while singing it? No.

5. I’m In The Lord’s Army

Screaming “YES SIR!” on the top of your lungs while marching, pretending to “shoot the artillery”, and flying during “zoom over the enemy”? I’m enjoying the blast of serotonin just thinking about it.

4. Rise and Shine (Arky Arky)

This song has energy, clapping on beat with a huge smile on your face, and the added bonus of singing weird words while clapping like a lunatic (“Arky, Arky”, “landy landy”)

3. I’ve Got The Joy Joy Joy Joy Down In My Heart

Let me be very clear about something: yes, this song is amazing, but the part that takes it to the absolute next level was the verse that goes “…and if the devil doesn’t like it he can sit on a tack. OUCH!” Nothing, and I mean NOTHING takes a song to the next level than wishing actual physical pain on the devil and reenacting it by jumping out of our chairs.

2. I Am A C-H-R-I-S-T-I-A-N

I don’t care how old you are. You 100% can still sing and spell all of these words because of this jam. We also all knew that this song was pretty much a competition as it got faster and faster, because you knew you could spell it faster than all of your friends around you. (And you always got mad at the Sunday School teacher because she should have gone even faster with it)

1. Father Abraham

This song is an absolute banger and everything about it is perfection to an energetic Christian 8 year old. The slow progression of adding hand gestures as the song grew and grew and by the end you were just flailing your arms around singing at the top of your lungs laughing with your friends. This is the vibe I hope to never forget.

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