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7 Truths for Christians Who Struggle with Having Same Sex Attraction

July 27, 2021

Being a Christian who struggles with homosexuality can undoubtedly leave you feeling discouraged and even hurt at times. It is not a topic that is always talked about in a way that allows for honest conversations to be had and can sometimes leave you feeling like an “outsider” in faith communities. However, these are seven truths that I have learned from being a Christian who struggles with homosexuality that I hope can encourage anyone else who may be going through the same thing.

1. You are not alone in your struggle.

Take it from someone who struggles with homosexuality themself; more people struggle with same-sex attraction than you think. Though it may not feel like it in your church, there are people all around the world who are going through the exact same thing as you. The burden that you are carrying is not one you are carrying alone.

2. God’s love for you is not based on your ability.

Being saved by grace means that we are not saved by any merit of our own. Gay, straight or bisexual, we all have an “F” according to God’s standard. As it says in Romans 3:23, “for all have sinned and fall short of the Glory of God.” That is why Jesus had to come and pay for our salvation in the first place. Despite this, God still loves us. As it says in 1 John 4:19, we love Him because He first loved us. Before you even had a thought about God, He was loving you. Before you believed The Gospel, Jesus still died for you. There’s no condition for God’s love. While we may find ourselves beating ourselves up over sinning, falling down, and doing things we wish we would stop, God’s love for us remains the same. He picks us up and tells us to keep running, looking to Jesus, the Author and Finisher of our faith (Hebrews 12:2).

3. We know we didn’t “choose to be like this.”

Some people may say hurtful things to you out of ignorance. Unfortunately, not all Christians seem to understand Romans 3:10 where it states no one is righteous, and you may find yourself being confronted with names such as “reprobate” and phrases like “it’s a choice, you chose to be that way.” The most we can do in these situations is to keep our eyes on Christ and keep moving forward. We know we did not choose this struggle. If we had the option to choose to struggle with something as tough as same-sex attraction, none of us would! While it may hurt being misunderstood, we have to be content with the knowledge that not everyone will see us eye to eye. Even Jesus was misunderstood. In Matthew 11:19, Jesus was even called a glutton, a drunkard, and a friend of tax collectors.

4. Other characters in The Bible were single too (for those practicing celibacy)

I’m sure most of us know that Paul was a “single pringle,” but other people in The Bible were single too! John the Baptist, Jeremiah, and Anna, just to name a few, were all single people who were used significantly by God. While most of us may not see being single as a “gift,” there are many ways in which God can use our singleness for good. Paul and John the Baptist are some of the most well-known individuals in Scripture known for their service to The Lord. They serve as a reminder for us today of two people who sacrificed so much for The Lord and helped so many people through their service. While it may not feel like it now, God can use your singleness for good.

5. Our spiritual growth doesn’t happen overnight.

There is a reason that salvation is based on what Christ did for us. We can’t save ourselves, and that is pretty obvious considering how much we mess up even on a daily basis. Once we become saved by believing The Gospel, we begin to mature spiritually. This isn’t something that happens overnight but rather is a long and learning process that happens over the long haul. We will be growing in grace until the day we die, and in that time, we are going to make mistakes. Setbacks are a part of the process, and struggles are a part of growth. In our failures, we may feel discouraged, angry, and maybe even hopeless. However, God didn’t put us on this path of life just to give up on us. He knew we were going to have mess-ups before He even started us on this race, and He is not giving up on us.

6. Straight people aren’t “less guilty of sin” than you.

I know it might sound obvious, but straight people are just as guilty of sin as gay people. No matter what kind of sin we struggle with, sin is sin. We may think that we are “better off” or “worse” of a sinner than somebody else, but we don’t know everything that people have going on. We are not graded on a curve or a scale when it comes to sin. If we’ve sinned, we’ve sinned. PERIODT.

7. You are loved.

While some SSA Christians may not choose to experience the romantic love of a partner, we are loved by God. YOU are loved by God. I know that some people may, unfortunately, reject you or shun you, but people are not God. God IS love. God wants you saved and wants you to be a part of His family. People may not accept you, but God does. Jesus said in John 6:40, “And this is the will of him that sent me, that EVERY one which seeth the Son, and believeth on him, may have everlasting life: and I will raise him up at the last day.” You are valued, you are loved, and you are accepted by God.

I know a struggle with same-sex attraction is a tough one. I also know that sometimes we might feel like it would be better if we just gave up and gave in. I will say that there are some testimonies of individuals who claim to have experienced a change in their attraction and state that they are now happily married to the opposite gender. Personally, that isn’t my case, but it could always be an option for others. God has different paths of life mapped out for all of us, and our spiritual walk is not a “one size fits all.” To all those struggling, the love of our LORD is stronger and deeper than any type of relationship any person could give us here on Earth. While we may find ourselves hurting here on Earth, our situation won’t last forever, and we will soon be in Paradise with our Heavenly Father forever.

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