Are you as tired as I am with this? While I’m noticing that many Christians are standing up for being better examples of Christ’s love, there will always be those who twist scripture to fit their own unbiblical beliefs. While there is some great specific advice out there on how we can get along well with others, the best advice you can take is to work your hardest to be the example of the change you want to see.

For those who don’t know, the irony is that being the person who started Christians Who Curse Sometimes, I actually don’t curse that much (really, at all) in person, so I hope you’ll excuse the title. There are some topics I feel strongly about, and this is clearly one of them.

Stop being a shitty, mean, bully of a Christian. Here’s how

1. Read Your Bible, Actually Read it

This point seems so simple, but here’s what you need to ask yourself: Have you read the Bible yourself and came to conclusions about what you believe for yourself?

Too many Christians even into adulthood are living and breathing faith clones of their parents. They were raised a certain way, told certain things, and those things just stay in their mind, unchallenged. Some of those things may be correct, others may be horribly misunderstood, even with the best of intentions.

Get off your butt. Open your Bibles. The root cause of people abusing scripture is not understanding it, or believing something says what you want it to say.

2. Talk To People Who Believe Differently From You

To clarify, I mean in every way: Spiritually, politically, ideologically, everything. Doing so can teach you more than you realize:

-You may receive confirmation that your beliefs are true

-You may have your opinion shifted by someone who understands and sees faith in a way that’s different from your worldview.

Either way is beneficial to our faith. If something doesn’t make sense to you, ask questions. Keep your ears open and hear their responses, even if you wildly disagree with them. Just simply getting to know a person is a way to expand your worldview and grow deeper with Christ.

3. Ditch Of The Goal of Evangelism

Don’t start typing out your hate messages yet, what I mean by this, is that we, as Christians need to stop viewing people as projects and start viewing them as people who are fully loved by God. I remember thinking of non-Christians as an “us vs. them” mentality before I realized that actually does NOTHING for evangelism.

A while back I asked people who were atheists or non-Christians to share stories of what made them turn to Christianity, and after reading THOUSANDS of messages, not a single one said “Someone walked up to me and recited Bible verses” or mentioned out-of-the-blue evangelism. Not one.

What they did mention was seeing people live lives where the love that they showed was contagious, or that they entered their life and showed them love in such a selfless way that they needed to know where that love came from.

The second you start loving people and not see them as “evangelism goals” is the day you can start truly loving them.

4. Get Off Your Butt and Get Active In Your Community

You know what I find so hypocritical? When I see Christians preaching loving others, and their passion for Christ, and all they do is sit on their back and complain about the world.

Getting active in your community could mean a myriad of different things: Maybe it means being active in your church, maybe it means volunteering for a non-profit, or maybe it means cooking a meal for a friend who’s having a tough day.

STOP WAITING FOR AN INVITATION. People who are desperately in need, many times, don’t feel right asking others to help them.

There was a time when my family went through a tough time, and the one small thing I’ll always remember is someone we know dropped off 6 bags full of groceries at our door. She didn’t ask what we needed, didn’t wait for us to ask, she just did it. It was so loving and needed at the time, and made our hearts feel full in a time when they were near empty.

Now, think about the stereotypical hypocritical Christian you can imagine. Chances are, they embody the opposite of these four tips: They don’t understand the Bible, they only hang with people who agree with them, they view people as evangelistic projects, and they’re not out there changing lives.

Get out there and change the world.