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Why You’re Probably Late For Church Based on Your Enneagram Type

July 14, 2021

Whether it’s because it was definitely your fault, or someone else’s, we all have our excuses for why we’re late for church. Here’s the one you’re most likely to use based on your Enneagram type:

Enneagram 1:

…because you realized your books were organized alphabetically by author, not title, and couldn’t get anything done until this was fixed.

Enneagram 2:

…because you randomly thought about that friend you haven’t seen in years and thought a random call to surprise them would make their day (Except it turned into a 2 hour, happy-tear filled phone call)

Enneagram 3:

…because you figured you would just check your email “quick”, but then ended up getting a jump start on Monday’s projects just to start the week off ahead.

Enneagram 4:

…because you noticed that the water dripping down the tile in the shower reminded you of a tear streaming down a face, and that reminded you of sadness, so you contemplated the beauty of sadness for an hour as the hot water hid your tears.

Enneagram 5:

…because while seeing a news article about Cuba, you decided to educate yourself on the complete history of the nation from the day it was discovered until now.

Enneagram 6:

…because even though being late made you anxious, you thought that maybe you forgot to lock the back door, even though you did, but it couldn’t hurt to go check, so you turn around to confirm that yes, you did lock it.

Enneagram 7:

…you’ve given up with excuses at this point, everyone just expects that you’ll be late.

Enneagram 8:

…because someone insisted they know of a faster way to get to church so you took their way, timing it, and arriving late, to prove to them that your way is more efficient.

Enneagram 9:

…because you got a phone call from a friend and didn’t want to be rude and tell them you have to go, so you just sat in the church parking lot, watching everyone else go in.

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