After hosting hundreds of topics allowing men and women to share their stories and thoughts on Christian dating, dating apps, and other dating nightmares, theres one message I constantly heard loud and clear: “Men are still creeps, even if they’re on a Christian dating app”
So even though the rate of Christian men sending explicit photos is lower than non-Christian men, how and why does it still happen? Why do men think this is OK?
In a study by the Journal of Scientific Research, 50% of men have admitted to sending a photo of their genitals to a women they were interested in. However, the motivations, while still extremely harmful, may be surprising:
Most men think that sending these types of photos is actually complimenting women, as in, a way to let them know that they are attractive, while also hoping for “something in return” whether that be nude photos, a date, or sexual acts.
“The most common motivation for sending such an image was hoping to receive sexual pictures in return, followed by hoping to turn on the recipient…Most men also hoped to make the person who received the image feel excited or attractive.”PsyPost.com
But, how does this relate to Christian men? It’s easy for us as Christians to know that this happens on apps that don’t have any relation to faith, but why does this still happen in Christian circles?
This is the first study to look for common characteristics of men who send unsolicited photos, and what they found was the average “photo sender” was more likely to be younger, narcissistic, and hold sexist viewpoints. These characteristics are all personality traits that are found in both Christian men as well as non-Christian men.
Depending on denominational upbringing, many of these characteristics can be found more prevalently in Christian men, leading them to be more likely to find photo-sending behavior more acceptable.
I’ve heard many Christians describe the faith-based dating scene as “dating in hard mode”. What complicates this is many non-Christians admit to going onto Christian dating apps to try and find women and men to “expand their options”.
A recent reddit post explored the idea of non-Christians being on Christian dating apps, and what many of the stories shared reflected was many people joined just to expand their options. Many of the men shared stories that they were looking for women who may take the relationship a little more seriously, or looking for the type of women they can “bring home to mom”, even though they don’t share the same faith.
Christian women and men build up Christian dating apps to be a “safe place” where they know they can feel more comfortable, be more themselves, and more open with someone quicker than on other dating apps. They expect that someone they match with will have the same faith foundation, and thus can move things quicker.
The issue with this is it leads to bigger heartbreak and more feelings of betrayal when things don’t work out, even more “shock factor” when unsolicited nudes may be sent.
We need to recognize that sending unsolicited nudes is an act that is wrong no matter your age, gender, religion, or any other factor.
We also need to recognize that Christian men are not immune from being predators, having sexual dysfunctions, or having misguided intentions on dating apps.
Whether you are meeting people at church, at bars, or on dating apps, its important to guard your heart and not assume that everyone who you may have interest in is safe or well-intentioned.
Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.Romans 12:2
Christians Who Curse Sometimes is a brand looking to deepen your faith in real practical ways. Personally, I am a husband, father, and meme creator. I love connecting with real people, and showing that no matter what your story is, you can have an impact and change lives.