About Us   |   Contact   |   Advertise With Us   |   Support CWCS

When The Person You Prayed For Breaks Your Heart

August 2, 2021

Heartbreak is something that almost everyone on the face of the earth will encounter. We go through rough breakups with someone we cared about. We lose someone close to us. A partner or spouse cheats or hides a dark secret. A friend we hold dear betrays us. We don’t get that promotion, or suddenly face unemployment. The ensuing heartbreak consumes us, makes us doubt who we are, causes us to turn to coping mechanisms, grieves us, and so much more. 

Heartbreak and relationships unfortunately seem to go hand in hand. 

Enter the global pandemic lockdown of 2020. Suddenly everyone who was single and ready to mingle was stuck at home. Couples all became long distance, even within the same city. Those living together were now spending 24 hours a day, 7 days a week in the same space. You know the stories – we lived through the stories. We know or are people who struggled deeply. 

Like many, I conceded to not have any chances at dating for the foreseeable future. I doubted falling in love was in the cards for me. When I was bored of staring at my work computer screen, out the same window everyday, the ceiling fan as it moved at the same steady pace; fatigued from countless Zoom and facetime calls just to see my loved ones; somehow slowly becoming bored of the hobbies I could do safely, I would do the thing that drove me craziest: re-download dating apps again and again. 

For a few days, it would be fun to swipe (and swipe and swipe) and connect with new people. But those connections wouldn’t go anywhere and I’d get bored of the thing I did in my boredom, delete my accounts and the apps, and repeat the same cycle. My friends and I would share our dating woes in our weekly catch up calls, with certain adult beverages in our hands to make light of it. 

After a moment of reckoning and a long conversation towards the end of the year with someone I go to for life advice, I decided that I needed to take them seriously if a relationship was something I desired. And something crazy happened: I met someone amazing.

And I hope he isn’t reading this. This will be somewhat mortifying if he is. But he knows how much I appreciate him.

Over the span of a few weeks and some wonderful in-person dates when it was safe to do so, I realized this was the person I had always prayed for. Now my list isn’t long but I’m a girl that certainly knows what she wants and what’s important to me. This guy went above and beyond my expectations. 

Suddenly I had something exciting to look forward to every week. We’d get to know each other and with every conversation I’d become more and more certain this was the real deal. Our dates felt like magic. Not only did it feel great to safely be around someone again, but I was more comfortable than I had ever been around someone I was pursuing a relationship with – a number I can count on far less than my two hands. We prayed for each other, supported each other through some big decisions, and shared our deepest passions with each other. We wanted the same things out of a relationship, and when time made for commitment, we were on the same page. 

My friends, co-workers, and family had never been more excited for me. They knew that I wasn’t someone that dated often and really considered someone carefully before deciding to move forward. He met two of my closest friends and I met some of his. Some of them could see the change happening in me – witnessing the tangible release I had over control of this aspect in my life. They kept me accountable and encouraged, helping me work through my thoughts and emotions after every date in the first weeks, guiding me as needed. They were and still are my sounding boards and we’re equally as excited as I was about this potential.

But this was dating in the time of coronavirus – so of course a time came where we weren’t able to see each other due to self-quarantines and potential exposure. We pushed through, just like countless others did and we had done with family and friends in the months before. Phone calls and video dates became our norm. 

Then things changed in the blink of an eye. One night he wanted to talk. I had just gotten home and it was raining. Within the span of minutes, we were done. Just like that. 

I’d like to say that I took it all with grace. And I did in the minutes that followed until he was no longer around. Then the tears came. And they wouldn’t stop.

It’s been a few months now, and I’d be lying if I told you I didn’t still think about him from time to time, wondering how his life has been. Curious about the big steps I knew were coming up went for him. We have plenty of mutual friends and part of me always wants to ask. But I won’t.

Heartbreak isn’t the end all be all – I learned more about myself in those months with him and the months that followed than I had in a long time. 

I learned that I’m fully capable of dropping my walls, releasing my fears and anxieties, and being fully comfortable and myself around someone I hardly know. I didn’t feel like I had to put up a facade or mask things about myself. It was freeing beyond belief.

I learned that I’m more resilient than I believed. There were days when pushing through my hurt felt impossible, but it was. With a lot of prayer and support from my friends, each day became a little bit easier. 

I learned to lean into my inner circle in a new way. I had never been through a heartbreak like this. I wasn’t grieving a lost loved one to death – this was a new type of grief. I spent lots of time alone in the days that followed, but my loved ones never stopped checking in on me, helping me process the pain and heal in a healthy way. 

I learned how to appreciate the little things another person does for me so much more, especially in the context of a romantic relationship. I found myself in awe of quiet moments, special conversations about life, and thinking about life in a different way. 

I learned that this type of healing really does take time. I always knew the cliche, but had never lived through it in my 25 years up to that point. I finally understood the strong desire to send just one more text and call one more time. To seek out closure in whatever that looked like. Deleting our messages and call logs was like going through the breakup all over again. Unfollowing him on social media felt like torture, but not as torturous as it was refreshing for updates before taking that step. The days where the wave would crash and I’d feel myself drowning in sadness once more were overwhelming. But finally the tears stopped and I thought about him less and less and less. 

I re-learned that dating myself can be more fun than anything. I’ve always loved solo adventures, just as much as I love hanging out with my crew, but taking yourself on dates is a special kind of love. Every week on my sabbath day, I try to take myself on a date – whatever that looks like. Sometimes it’s cooking up a big brunch at home and reading on the balcony in the sun. Sometimes it’s going to an art gallery or museum and strolling through the park with a coffee in hand. Most of the time it’s driving to the beach to watch the sunrise over the waves or kayaking in my favorite spots.

I was reminded that sometimes God has other plans than I do. And that’s okay. I strongly believe that God put him in my path for a reason, and that was to show me parts of myself I didn’t know. It was a trial I needed to go through. There was beauty waiting for me in the highs of dating him as well as in the lows of suffering through that breakup. 

My prayers haven’t changed at all despite this. I still pray for the man I will hopefully one day marry. I pray for God to bring me someone that I can do life alongside and be on mission with. I pray every day for him to continue to hold my healing heart. I pray to always know that I’m enough, no matter what my mind tells me or what the world can say about me. 

Maybe you’re going through heartbreak right now. A relationship ended. You discovered your partner or spouse doing something that causes you deep, earth-shattering pain. Maybe you’re in the grips of divorce. You’re facing the betrayal of a family member, friend, co-worker, or manager. This is what I want to leave you with, and remind myself of. Say it with me:

“I’m fully loved and fully known by a God that is way better than my expectations could ever be.”

And (most days, if I’m fully transparent) that’s enough for me.

  1. my little pony games sex

    December 7th, 2021 at 1:22 PM

    erotic group sex games on webcam https://cybersexgames.net/

  2. best online casino no deposit

    December 10th, 2021 at 9:24 PM

    online casino no deposit bonus https://casinoonlinek.com/

  3. watch casino full movie free online

    December 11th, 2021 at 11:24 AM

    biggest online casino bonus https://onlinecasinoad.com/

  4. miami online casino

    December 12th, 2021 at 8:47 PM

    gta online casino missions https://casinogamesmachines.com/

  5. online casino that accepts echeck

    December 13th, 2021 at 12:11 AM

    online keno casino https://conline-casinos-hub.com/

  6. ohio online casino

    December 13th, 2021 at 3:04 PM

    online casino royal https://online2casino.com/

  7. borgata online casino bonus code

    December 13th, 2021 at 10:35 PM

    online casino slots https://casinoonlinet.com/

  8. online casino real money california

    December 14th, 2021 at 1:23 AM

    betfair casino online https://casinosonlinex.com/

  9. keto waffles

    December 15th, 2021 at 1:36 PM

    rapid keto https://ketogenicdietinfo.com/

  10. cheap essay writing

    December 16th, 2021 at 4:02 AM

    writing personal essays https://topessayswriter.com/

  11. what to write about for college essay

    December 16th, 2021 at 7:38 PM

    australian essay writing service https://yoursuperessay.com/

  12. easy essay writing

    December 17th, 2021 at 12:14 PM

    websites to write essays https://checkyouressay.com/

  13. gay men dating in arkansas

    December 17th, 2021 at 3:13 PM

    gay dating simulator https://gayprideusa.com/

  14. chsitey gay dating

    December 17th, 2021 at 6:58 PM

    gay and bisexual dating sites https://gaysugardaddydatingsites.com/

  15. can critical thinking be taught

    December 19th, 2021 at 2:47 PM

    what are the 3 tiers of critical thinking https://criticalthinkingbasics.com/

  16. ati critical thinking exit exam test bank

    December 19th, 2021 at 9:51 PM

    critical thinking com https://uncriticalthinking.com/

  17. short essay examples

    December 19th, 2021 at 10:21 PM

    essay about love https://choosevpn.net/

  18. how to start a college essay

    December 20th, 2021 at 12:52 AM

    compare and contrast essay example https://topvpndeals.net/

  19. mexican essay

    December 20th, 2021 at 3:16 AM

    personal essay for college examples https://tjvpn.net/

  20. informational essay format

    December 20th, 2021 at 4:31 AM

    mla format essay header https://thebestvpnpro.com/

  21. narrative essay definition

    December 20th, 2021 at 9:14 AM

    the proper style for an argumentative essay is https://vpnshroud.com/

  22. what is the thesis of an essay

    December 20th, 2021 at 10:26 AM

    hook in an essay https://vpnsrank.com/

  23. 3private

    December 31st, 2021 at 1:28 AM


  24. 1outdoors

    December 31st, 2021 at 10:54 AM


  25. gay hook up dating site

    January 2nd, 2022 at 12:43 PM

    how to delete surge gay dating profile https://gaypridee.com

  26. smooth chubby chub gay transsexual dating

    January 2nd, 2022 at 1:43 PM

    gay trucker dating https://gay-buddies.com

  27. dating gay macho weho

    January 2nd, 2022 at 2:43 PM

    which senoir gay dating app has most members lakeland fl https://gayprideusa.com

  28. dating advice for gay men

    January 2nd, 2022 at 3:43 PM

    gay boys free dating websites https://speedgaydate.com

  29. free asian gay chat lines

    January 14th, 2022 at 10:19 AM

    gay online chat https://bjsgaychatroom.info/

  30. chubby chub gay dating

    January 14th, 2022 at 1:45 PM

    smooth chubby chub gay transsexual dating https://gaypridee.com/

  31. gay masturbation chat

    January 14th, 2022 at 5:16 PM

    gay video chat surry county nc https://gaytgpost.com/

  32. aol chat room gay

    January 14th, 2022 at 8:14 PM

    in gay chat what is an otter? https://gay-buddies.com/

  33. murka slots

    January 28th, 2022 at 3:41 PM

    wms free online slots https://2-free-slots.com/

  34. free slots black widow igt

    January 28th, 2022 at 9:13 PM

    gsn casino slots free https://freeonlneslotmachine.com/

  35. old vegas world slots

    January 28th, 2022 at 11:19 PM

    pussy slots teen https://candylandslotmachine.com/

  36. free video slots

    January 29th, 2022 at 5:22 AM

    slots era cheats https://pennyslotmachines.org/

  37. real penny slots

    January 29th, 2022 at 6:42 AM

    quick hits free slots https://slotmachinesworld.com/

  38. mod the sims more slots

    February 3rd, 2022 at 7:06 PM

    casino joy slots https://slotmachinesforum.net/

  39. free slots/penny

    February 3rd, 2022 at 9:30 PM

    free vegas penny slots https://slot-machine-sale.com/

  40. casino slots free

    February 4th, 2022 at 12:17 AM

    free slots/penny https://beat-slot-machines.com/

  41. shaved models slots

    February 4th, 2022 at 8:55 AM

    hollywood4fun slots https://411slotmachine.com/

  42. dissertation literature review

    February 10th, 2022 at 8:02 PM

    it dissertation help https://buydissertationhelp.com/

  43. dissertation writing companies

    February 11th, 2022 at 4:04 PM

    online finance dissertation help https://dissertationwriting-service.com/

  44. dissertation writing services in uk

    February 11th, 2022 at 7:46 PM

    writing your dissertation https://help-with-dissertations.com/

  45. free dissertation help

    February 11th, 2022 at 11:35 PM

    dissertation writing service uk https://mydissertationwritinghelp.com/

  46. ed d dissertation topics

    February 12th, 2022 at 4:03 AM

    dissertation fellowships https://dissertations-writing.org/

  47. uchicago dissertation office

    February 12th, 2022 at 7:33 AM

    citing a dissertation mla https://helpon-doctoral-dissertations.net/

CWCS Hoodie

most popular

team favorite


CWCS T-Shirt

CWCS Trucker Cap





Shop the CWCS

Shop All →

All Contents Copyright 2021 Christians Who Curse Sometimes