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What Type of Kid You Were in Youth Group Based On Your Enneagram

September 21, 2021

Youth Group. Those were the days. So much awkwardness, weird over-the-top games, and youth leaders desperately trying to keep up with the trends and get along with us.

If you know your Enneagram type, heres how you probably remember your youth group experience:

Enneagram 1:

Wondering why the youth leader didn’t think through all the rules to the game he probably made up, while also wondering why we’re even playing games in the first place when we could all be out there volunteering at a Soup Kitchen instead

Notable quote you probably said: “I just don’t understand why we need to sit here wasting perfectly good eggs by cracking them on each other’s heads when they could be used to make an omelet for the homeless”

Enneagram 2:

The mini-youth leader. Whenever the youth leaders did a game that made someone puke on stage, you were the one who followed them to the bathroom and made sure they were feeling good enough to come back in.

Notable quote you probably said: “It’s ok Maddie, anyone would have puked drinking that blended happy meal, don’t worry, I won’t eat McDonalds for the rest of my life either…”

Enneagram 3:

You threw the ball too hard and gave that kid a broken wrist that one time. You also get a little annoyed when there is no actual prize for the winner.

Notable quote you probably said: “Really? “Success” is the prize? You couldn’t even just stop by the dollar store and gotten a cheap trophy?”

Enneagram 4:

Quietly crying in your seat while the youth pastor shares how much he loves his wife, as your mind starts to imagine their entire love story from start to finish, and having an existential crises that you’ll be alone forever, even though you’re only 13.

Notable quote you probably said: *wipes single tear*

Enneagram 5:

The one who is googling the archeological history of the Old Testament passage that the youth pastor just mentioned to make sure that he is accurate in his preaching. Spending the post-youth group time checking his accuracy.

Notable quote you probably said: “Pastor Mark, when you mentioned about how Jesus walked on water, you happened to not mention that it is in all the gospels except Luke. Don’t you think that might have been worth mentioning and exploring?”

Enneagram 6:

Imagining every scenario of how whatever game you’re playing could end up with a youth leader needing to call an ambulance, and then feeling like you should have said something when it actually happens

Notable quote you probably said: “I know pushing each other into garbage cans until one person is left sounds fun, but maybe we could just pre-dial 911 just in case?”

Enneagram 7:

The one who is fully living your best life. The complete chaos of jumping from a room full of people, to a semi-organized game, to talking in small groups. This type of chaos is what you live for and to be honest you’re still chasing this high as an adult.

Notable quote you probably said: “Yeah, I know youth group ends at 8 and its almost 9, but we just started up another game of Spoons and we only have a few more rounds until we’re done”

Enneagram 8:

Not even feeling bad about asking for clarification on that one other kid who is being vague about their prayer request. Also not feeling bad when you end up challenging the youth leaders on the questions they’re asking.

Notable quote you probably said: “Ok Kyle, I will pray for you to avoid temptation, but I’ll also be praying that you’ll see the 9,000 bad decisions you made that got you there in the first place”

Enneagram 9:

Watching dodgeball from the sidelines and talking with the youth leaders, because playing these games just seems to harsh and archaic

Notable quote you probably said: “Can’t we use game time for something more productive? Making crafts together or sharing about our weeks?”

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