Aren’t you glad we have Christ’s salvation to keep us from hell? Be glad you do because here is what hell would be like for each Enneagram number:

Enneagram 1:

You’re trapped in a home where everything is broken and the house is a mess, and every time you fix something, something else breaks.

Enneagram 2:

Someone you love desperately needs your help and advice, but you can never get to them. Even worse, they think you’re ignoring them and are getting more and more upset with you with every passing day.

Enneagram 3:

You’re given a hugely important task to complete, and right before you finish, credit is given to someone who did none of the work, and you are unable to speak up.

Enneagram 4:

You’re the star of a reality show where you can never escape the cameras, and your thoughts and feelings are broadcast to the world to see and judge.

Enneagram 5:

Someone brings up a topic that you know a ton about, but every time you add to the conversation, you say something false.

Enneagram 6:

You are given a list of projects to complete. Once you decide which project to start, you do such a horrible job that you have to start over and decide all over again. On repeat. For eternity.

Enneagram 7:

You are locked in a room that you can’t escape from, where you have the same mundane tasks to complete every single day for all eternity.

Enneagram 8:

You’re forever working on a team project where one person is always wrong but everyone else blindly follows them. Nobody listens to anything you say.

Enneagram 9:

Everyone you love is in a room with you. They’re all fighting with each other because of something you said. Every time you try and fix things, you make it worse.