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Pastors Shared the Biggest Freudian Slips They’ve Ever Had, and You’re Guaranteed Secondhand Embarrassment

June 10, 2021

Pastors are human, and sometimes they make mistakes.

Sometimes, those mistakes are something they’ve never forgotten. We asked pastors and church-goers to share their favorite freudian slip or mistake a pastor made during a sermon, and the responses did not disappoint:

Sometimes its one small letter that makes the difference…

On a church camp packing checklist I meant to tell people to pack a clock so they make it on time for services in the am. Instead I left out the L. Sent a letter to 150 teens telling them to pack their “cocks.” Yeah, they didn’t let me live that down for a while.

…or saying something in front of a grieving family…

Husband is a lead pastor and we had a death in the church last week. I went with him to visit the family and the wife of the man that had passed away was majorly into canning vegetables and she wanted to show us her canning room. Well, she had a collection of old Ball canning jars that happened to be blue and I excitedly proclaimed “I love blue Balls!” As soon as I said it I looked around at all the family members and we all busted out laughing  … that’s one way to lighten the mood in the midst of their grief 

…or trying to be edgy at a youth camp…

I was preaching at a youth camp and trying to be a little edgy….too, too much edge. I was talking about avoiding sexual temptation, and said this, exact quote, “listen, if you want to stay sexually pure, there are things you need to avoid. The truth is guys – when you see the goodies, you’re going to want to eat them” Took a little while to get that sermon back. 

…or just not understanding how to describe “phones…

My pastor once told the congregation “please turn off your vibrators.” He meant to ask people to turn their phones on silent.

…or confusing the word “resurrection” for something else entirely…

Easter Sunday. Packed house. Our pastor is talking about the resurrection. And says in the middle of his sermon “how amazing is it that a man was able to call his own erection.” There was an awkward pause and everyone including him laughed. He wrapped the sermon up.

…or not knowing the real definition of slang terms…

I was making announcements at the end of one of our six services in two venues. I announced that the early service in the other venue was cancelled on July 4th so they would be joining us in this venue. I then jokingly said, “So get here early so that those schmucks don’t get your seats.” After the service, one of our elders let me know that the word schmuck is Yiddish and originally meant the foreskin that was discarded at circumcision. So, yes….I did, in fact, call some of our church members “d__k-heads” from the stage.

…or when your mind combines two phrases into one…

I’m not a pastor but I used to lead a connect group for young adults. For one service the church asked me to be on a panel where we’d be asked questions about relationships, careers, life advice in general. We got the questions ahead of time so I had all my answers ready…. On my final question I wanted to let them know it was ok to go on a date with someone and it not work out. Friends are great too! So I tried to get their attention by saying “this is going to be cut throat for some” but my mind also said “this is going to be deep” … yep, I ended up saying “this is going to be deep-throat” to a room of 150 young adults. They had to edit the sermon video they post on the YouTube channel 

…or even something as simple as a cultural difference…

I was at a conference one time where one of the speakers was from Norway. He was explaining that he’d been talking down a political figure over there…referring to it as “I just kept banging her and banging her, I couldn’t stop banging her! Finally the Lord told me it was not right to be banging her so hard.” My friend and I were shaking with barely controlled laughter as the whole room listened in awkwardness.

…or maybe its just the listener who is immature…

We had a foreign priest come to our church (I’m French btw). At some point during the sermon he told us we should stop “fingering” people instead of “pointing fingers at people”. My best friend and I could not stop laughing…

…or just blame the person who does the church slides…

Not a Freudian slip, I don’t think (it was in the text on the slides), but the verse talking about sexual immorality had been botched and read “Sexual IMMORTALITY”, much to the delight of the people reading it. I could barely keep it reigned in

…or combining words into a phrase with a totally different meaning…

So my husband was giving a sermon illustration about a guy who got scammed. My husband is a smart man I swear, but his brain combined the slang term “jacked” with the phrase “ripped off”. My husband told the entire congregation a story about a man who got “jacked off”. I cant remember the last time I heard the youth group row laugh that hard.

So take a moment to say a prayer for your pastor. I guarantee they’re reading this, sweating, knowing that this may, indeed, happen to them someday.

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