It can feel so lonely when you make the decision to wait until you’re married to have sex. Nobody talks about the logistics, struggles, joys, or any of the details of what could or might happen, so many Christians are left to their own intuition. This leads to some amazing, sad, or hilarious moments.

We asked Christian couples to tell us the truth: What REALLY happened on your wedding night?

My husband and I were absolutely blessed to have friends that gave us incredible, real advice on how to pleasure each other (and some technique ideas to try), but the one thing they said was to set the expectation that it probably wouldn’t happen on your wedding night because you’ll both be so tired.

Fast forward to that night, we change into PJs and cuddle up in bed. We decided it probably wouldn’t happen, but my husband was wearing pajama pants without underwear and was definitely excited about the possibility (He’s very large, so he couldn’t hide it) Long story short we ended up having sex and it was so awkward and beautiful.

The next morning, I realized why God wants us to wait. I realized that it’s not about “being the best at sex” or “test driving a car before you buy it”. Its about committing and learning how to have sex with someone else that pleases both of you (which takes time), and learning over years how to please each other in deeper ways. 15 years and the sex is still getting better.

Well, my wife walked out in lingerie and I laughed out loud because I was nervous and she just isn’t a super girly girl.

It hurt her and after apologizing we turned on the TV to relax a little. One thing led to another and we consummated our marriage to the Comedy Central Roast of Flavor Flav. My heart still skips a beat when I see an oversized clock or hear “yeah boi” nearly 15 years later.

I am no longer married, and the discovery on our wedding night created heartbreak for the rest of our marriage. I saved myself for marriage, but once the wedding night came, my body physically would not allow penetration (if you’re curious, Google vaginismus). I spent years trying to fix it (surgery, creams, doctors, pills, pelvic floor therapy, dialators, etc), and not being able to meet my husband’s sexual needs started a lot of fights. I truly believe this issue (along with us being young, and mental health and healthy communication not really being as big of a topic as it is today) was one of the root causes of our marriage falling apart, and a whole lot of heartbreak.

We thought we were gonna be fun and spicy, nOt LiKe OtHeR sHeLtErEd ChRiStiAnS, so we decided to try some 2-in-1 warming lube right out of the gate. It was a bad idea that ended with me in the tub and him in the sink trying to feverishly wash our genitals.   That put a bit of a pause on things for an hour or so but in the end really helped us over any awkward feelings we might have been facing. I mean, I wouldn’t say it was really worth it, but it wasn’t the worst experience I guess.

Traumatic (kind of). My wife cried when we were naked, was worried how I’d “fit” I had blue balls and felt pretty sick on the way to the hotel. Also figured out later we didn’t use enough lube so getting things going was a struggle. Honeymoon was much better as we started to figure things out.
Advice, don’t be afraid to ask people you trust questions. Be prepared to go slow and know you have the rest of your life to figure it out.

Well, I was definitely was not warned enough about how friggin painful it would be. As a woman, it HURT. We used all the lube like people say, I was relaxed, but we had to stop and have a shower partway through to try relax more. Looking at it now, I realise that we could have pushed through it really quickly, but no one really tells you that? 
Also, tried to give him a BJ in the shower. Straight up vomited on his dick. 

We were sweaty, like really sweaty. Like so sweaty my white dress shirt was totally transparent. My new wife had lost a fake eyelash and all her makeup was gone, sweaty. 
We take a 2 hour limo ride. We highly recommend limousine make outs…that’s just an aside.
Up until this point everything was fabulous. However, the hotel was when things went downhill. First, right when we got to the hotel, I stripped to get in the shower. So I’m just naked…and I was comfortable naked in front of people. I’d played football my whole life right up through college. Showering in front of people was like putting on socks for me. But for my wife…
Well, she’d literally never seen a man naked before.
So here I am, just hanging brain right there. My wife says, “well, there it is…” and she was correct. There it was…
Meanwhile, she’s busy taking out the 7,000 Bobby Pins in her wedding hair. 
We finally shower. Things are working great in there. Everything was going just fine. We didn’t want to sex in there, it was the first time and we wanted it to be in the bed. But we kissed and such. 
Then we get out of the shower and it’s game time. By this point my nerves were through the flipping roof. I’d waited 23 years for this moment and I was completely overwhelmed that *it* was happening. And especially with the woman of my dreams…
But…the nerves. Well, they tend to have an adverse affect on the lower regions. And, my guy…well…he didn’t understand that it was game time at all.
As a result…there was no sexy time that night.
There was a counseling session. My wife had to spend 2 hours reassuring me that I was just nervous and tired.  However…that next morning was much different 
All in all, we laugh about it a lot now. 7 years and three kids later, I wouldn’t have had it go any other way looking back. It was a good reminder that marriage is so much more than sex. And when the other parts of marriage are clicking, the sex is just icing on the cake!

Short and sweet: we arrived at our honeymoon destination at 10pm after a 4 hour journey from the church, we got in, looked around, had a drink and a sit to relax, we went into the garden and looked at the stars while slow dancing, went back in and undressed in various stages as we climbed the stairs (I made a point to hang up my dress and his suit as we went) and then there was lots of foreplay and basically as soon as he was in we were done 

But it was beautiful, it was new for both of us, it wasn’t rushed. We showered and fell asleep in each other’s arms and had sex 5 times the next day with increasing stamina and satisfaction 

I know lots of couples that wait until the day after though cause the wedding night itself – no word of a lie – you will be EXHAUSTED. I loved our wedding night and honeymoon and was so glad we waited. It was all perfect. 

Anxiety filled. It took us hours to actually go all the way because I was so anxious and it was causing so much pain because I couldn’t relax. We ended up ordering a pizza, chilling in the room’s jacuzzi tub and just hanging out to come down from all the nerves of the day & really years leading up to “the moment”.And of course, once we actually got in a place to do it, it was short lived.I now realize we really idolized that time coming from purity culture and didn’t have a super realistic view of sex. Like, if THAT was the moment we were waiting for, waiting wasn’t worth it. It was more the fact that the action was part of our covenant to each other and was something we both waited for individually that made it “worth the wait.”

As a young guy, I was very much looking forward to “the wedding night” as depicted by other guys and movies. I had never bought any condoms or anything like that and had no idea what the quantity I needed, so I ended up dropping around $80 to “be prepared”
After a long day wedding of duties, we made it our hotel and we were both exhausted. Since we had both never done this before we had no idea what to do and it hurt her too much to do anything that night. It actually took a little while to get a groove down. 
We have been married for a few years now (found our groove ) and even though our wedding night wasn’t how it is in the movies, we are still so glad we waited. We are the best we have ever had lol