You know you’ve heard the criticisms before: cheap relationships, hookups, dating multiple people, fighting, drinking partying. Judging solely based on what you see and hear, The Bachelorette may be something that seems incredibly damaging to Christians or something that we may not agree with.

I want to challenge you today. As the husband of a wife who has been an avid fan and follows “Bachelor Nation” closely, I’ve considered this question myself. Admittedly, I used to watch with her, but found myself joking and making fun of the show as she was finding genuine enjoyment from it. (Luckily, she finds me funny)

Here are a few reasons I think Christians *should* watch the #1 dating show of all time

1. The Importance of Discussing Issues Early

Yes, I know that the Bachelor is a heavily produced show, but how often do you see couples get to a point where you can tell they truly love each other, only to find out that one of them was hiding something from the other. Whether its during the show, or finding out after filming is over from headlines, one thing is shown season after season:

Openness is important. Sharing about your past and what you struggle with is important. Not just for the reason of being open, but for the reasons of a relationship being a team. If the goal of your relationship is marriage, helping each other carry your burdens is something that will help strengthen both of you as a team.

2. The Importance of Boundaries

You know you’ve seen it: Someone goes in for the kiss way too early, or makes a move at a bizarre time and *that* is the issue that starts tearing them apart. It may not be the sole issue, but it can start an avalanche of other issues.

Talking about physical boundaries is so important in relationships. Talk about them early and talk about them as specifically as you can. The best way to avoid misunderstandings, or pushing your partner physically to a point where they’re not comfortable is to have discussions on this, and have them often, no matter how awkward they can be.

3.The Importance of Respecting Women

Its shocking to me the number of men in the world who do things in dating, friendships, or any type of relationship that is well intentioned, but totally hurtful or misogynistic. Some men have behaviors so ingrained in them that they think theyre just being a good boyfriend/husband, but in reality they dont realize how rude or insensitive they’re being.

The one thing the Bachelorette is great at is showing the true consequences of this. Men stand their ground and refuse to listen, refuse to admit they’re wrong, EVEN THOUGH she is standing there in front of him saying that his actions are hurting her.

MEN: Take a note from the Bachelorette. Listen to the women in your life and learn from them, even if you think you have it all together.

4. The Importance of God Being at the Center of Your Relationship

I guarantee you, if you ask any Bachelor fan why one of the famous couples broke up, they’ll give you a million reasons: “It was all based on sex”, “He was there for fame, not love”, “She just wanted his money”, etc.

When you build a relationship on a foundation of sand, the relationship will crumble. If a relationship is dependent on money, sex, fame, or any other “one thing”, that thing can go away in an instant. What do you do then?

When you build a relationship on the foundation that God lays out in scripture, you’re setting up your relationship for success. Talk about long term goals, talk about family goals, talk about career goals. Those are all important, but make sure that what you are both doing is helping the other grow closer to Christ.

Does the Bachelorette promote unhealthy standards in relationships? OF COURSE IT DOES. Does the Bible contain stories with unhealthy standards too? YES.

The difference is: are we going to see it as an acceptance of harmful lifestyles? Or can we learn from this and grow from it?